Onelargeprawn
Another year another FIFA game, with a year number appended to it, and this time FIFA 17 has a new new things to share with us. Yes, they’re all soccer related. I’ll go get my boots and my ball and I’ll meet you on the pitch for this review.
Borderlands The Pre-Sequel! (and not Borderlands 3, or even Borderlands 1.5) is the latest game in the Borderlands universe, and takes place chronologically between the first two games. The game serves as a way for players to get to know and understand how Handsome Jack, the villain from the prior game (reviewed here), became such an utter malignant misanthrope. I grab my vault hunting gear and head for the moon of Pandora to battle lunar-tics and see what manner of loot I can grab.
Just about anyone who has an interest in Destiny will probably have already bought it, or read a review about it and made up their minds. So why read this one? I can’t actually provide a decent answer except perhaps this: this review is probably entertaining.
Back in 1998, Eidos released Thief: The Dark Project as a massive “up your ziggy with a wahwah brush” to the entire first person shooter genre. As you probably already know (but which, for the sake of narrative flow in a review, I’m going to tell you again), the game eschewed the “3 guns a-blazing, 2 foes a-dying, and a partridge in a pear tree” style of FPS that was made popular by Doom, Hexen, Quake, and Unreal. Instead, it opted for a “tread softly and carry a big bag for loot” approach. First person stealth! How novel! And of course, the game was an instant success. So now in 2014, we have the highly-anticipated reboot of the game, simply titled “Thief”. Let’s open the bag of loot and see what we’ve absconded with.
As you know, we here at Prawn Central LOVE us some LEGO games, so it’s with a lot of excitement that we got our grubby mitts on LEGO Marvel Super Heroes, the latest LEGO game from Travellers Tales. If you’ve played a LEGO game before, I doubt there’ll be much in this review that’s new to you, but I think you should read it anyhow, if only for the entertainment value. Excelsior!
If you’ll recall, last year we reviewed XCOM: Enemy Unknown, and we loved it so much we gave it nine and a half prawns. That’s a lot of prawns. The game is back, this time as a standalone expansion pack (ie, you don’t need to own the original XCOM to play it). To prepare for this review, you have some homework—go read the review of the first XCOM game, because much of what I have to say will be covered there; I’m only going to include what’s changed in this review. No need to do things twice, eh? Onward!
The Call of Duty franchise has been in existence for 10 years now, taking the player through the battlefields of the past, present, and near-future. Like clockwork every November, Call of Duty amasses metric tonnes of money for its publisher, Activision. Modern Warfare 3 has sold over 26 million copies since its release in 2009. Black Ops II in 2012 grossed over $500 million within 24 hours of going on sale, a record for the largest entertainment launch of all time that clung to until September of this year when GTA V took the crown (which, in case you didn’t know, we reviewed over here a few weeks back). And news is that Call of Duty: Ghosts, the latest main installment in the series, pulled in a ego-inflating $1 billion in a single day. That’s not sales to customers though, rather to the stock sold to the retailers. Still, Call of Duty is a very large, hugely-uddered cash cow that seemingly isn’t going to run out of milk any time soon. And I’ve not suckled at its teat…until now (Ed: That’s a very disturbing metaphor you’ve got there). Did the experience leave a bad taste in my mouth? (Ed: You’re not making things better.) Find out after the jump.
Yar, mateys! Tis time to sail the seas, buckle our swashes, and walk the planktons with our jolly rogered crew (Ed: erm…) The assassins have taken to the seas and are getting dressed in their colourful apparel in Davy Jones’ Locker Room. Your trusty reviewer takes up his sword and blunderbuss and goes trawling the seas in search of loot and victims to assass. (Ed: That’s “assassinate”. Oh never mind. I can see I’m in for a tough job editing this review.)
Every now and again, a game comes along defies the genres. A game so mighty and amazing that you wonder where it has been all your life. A game, though based on either a film or a TV series, is so brilliant, so wonderful, so totally mindbendingly stunning, that you wonder what kind of magic brain-boosting coffee the developers were drinking. A game that is so funny it reduces you to tears. So emotional that it leaves you a gibbering wreck on the floor, controller in hand. Plankton’s Robotic Revenge is not that game. However, it does feature Spongebob SquarePants, so there’s that. Are you ready kids? I can’t HEAR you!