I am the comeback king. I lie, I’m completely rubbish. Upon being insulted my modus operandi usually involves a terse “You suck donkey balls” followed by a tight pirouette and quick sprint in the opposite direction. My sense of fight vs flight is highly tuned ;-)
Other people have settled conflicts with a retort so stabbing there is no recovery; their arguers lose face and must retreat wondering why the fuck they didn’t think of it first. One such person is the ever lovable Winston Churchill and these are some of his comebacks.
Nancy and the Poisoned Coffee
Nancy Astor, an American socialite who married into the wealthy English family of Astor, was invited to a dinner party on the Churchill estate. She became extremely annoyed at the drunk Churchill and said, “Winston, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee.” To which Churchill merely replied:
Nancy, if you were my wife I’d drink it.
Let Sleeping Dragons lie
Churchill was listening to a long-winded speech by one of his opponents and after 30 minutes, he slumped into his seat and closed his eyes. His opponent noticed and shouted, “Must you fall asleep when I am speaking?”. Without even opening his eyes, Churchill quipped:
No, it’s purely voluntary.
The Ugly Truth
Churchill was intoxicated at party in London, and when another irritated lady yelled at him, “Winston, you’re drunk!” his retorted with this:
You’re right Bessie, and you’re ugly. But tomorrow morning, I’ll be sober.
Winston Churchill’s witty comebacks are included in the top 10 comebacks of all time – see the full list at TopTenz.net. If you’ve made a memorable comeback, drop us a comment.
