infidelity | Onelargeprawn

The Sun reports that as useful as Facebook may be, it can also bit you on the ass and a dumbass philanderer Antonio M. felt the pain as his fiancee uncovered a photo of him nestled between the naked breasts of another woman! To make it worse, the fiancee named only as Valeria A found the incriminating photo on Antonio’s Facebook profile just a few days before the intended wedding. Justifiably upset, Valeria printed and stuck up hundreds of posters around the area of the city where Antonio and their friends work. Her message to him reads:

Thank goodness there’s Facebook! At least I’ve discovered you’re a traitor pig before the wedding! Signed, your former betrothed bride and the 548 guests of our wedding.

I’m sure Antonio had a perfectly valid reason for that shit-eating grin but the boobies are a tad difficult to explain – those mammaries could have belonged to his sister and he was inspecting them for lumps; perhaps it could have been a badly exposed self-portrait; an art class project maybe. If you have any plausible excuses, drop us a comment and let us know.

Oh I love these kind of stories. As teenagers, my sister and I used to take great delight in combing magazines and newspapers (this was long before the interweb) for grotesque Agony Aunt columns and weird stories of sexual misadventure, revenge or jealousy that ended in disaster. You know the ones that go something like “woman bites off lover’s tongue in passionate embrace”, or “Dear Aunt Rhoda my girlfriend says she can’t love me anymore because I have genital warts”, that sort of thing. The whole Bobbitt episode kept us laughing for months. Well I’m not sure if I exactly love this particular story because someone actually dies, however it is morbidly fascinating nonetheless.

An Australian woman has been arrested and is going to be charged with murder after she doused her sleeping husband’s penis with something like metholated spirits and set it on fire. The unfortunate man allegedly woke up and knocked the bottle of meths over which helped the fire to spread rapidly from his privates to engulf the couple’s entire residence. As you may have guessed, Mr Crispy was cheating on his wife, and unluckily for him she found out and sought her fiery revenge. The fire starter has issued a statement saying that it was not her intention to kill her husband, all she wanted to do was claim his penis as hers only and forever by horribly disfiguring it!

This burning issue courtesy of the Daily Express.