holiday | Onelargeprawn

Ridiculous complaints made by holiday makers

Oh how I could dig a holiday right now. A palm-fringed tropical island would be sublime, a chalet in the mountains with a wood burning fire place would be delightful, a suite at Claridges would be very special indeed. Heck, who am I kidding? A tent on the bank of the Breede would be perfect (and realistic). Alas there’s no holiday in sight for poor little moi, but at least I can take solace in the fact that some people went on holiday and didn’t have a good time. Here are some absurd complaints made by vacationing fools:

A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel “inadequate”.
“No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.”
“My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”
“I was bitten by a mosquito – no-one said they could bite.”
“On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food at all.”

Read this for more ludicrousness.

Hello and welcome to a hard boiled wonderland um I mean a whole new week. If today is your birthday, I hope that it’s a really good, stress-free Monday, either that, or you’re still on holiday. You lucky bastards. You share your birthday with some very famous people including our own Groot Krokodil, transcendental guru Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, and my favourite Japanese author Haruki Murakami.

Also born on the 12th of January are:

1856 – John Singer Sargent, American portrait artist
1876 – Jack London, American author of White Fang, Call of the Wild, and other rugged stories of life in American frontier states.
1893 – Hermann Göring, German Nazi official, the “heir” to Hitler’s Germany, and commander of the formidable Luftwaffe.
1916 – Pieter Willem Botha, farm boy, Boer commando, South African prime minister and executive state president, all around ring-wing Afrikaner nationalist and Nazi sympathizer. He also refused to testify at the TRC.
1917 – Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, Indian spiritualist and teacher of transcendental meditation to the Beatles, and countless numbers of hippy students in India, China, USA, Mexico, and the UK.
1923 – Ira Hayes, Pima Native American, US Marine during WWII, and one of six United States service men immortalized in the iconic photograph of the flag raising on Iwo Jima.
1949 – Haruki Murakami, Japanese author of the incredibly profound The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle (one of the most amazing books I have ever read), and many other wonderful books.
1951 – Kirstie Alley, fat again, thin again, fat again American actress.
1965 – Rob Zombie or Robert Bartleh Cummings, American heavy metal musician, founder of White Zombie, successful solo artist, and director of films such as House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects.
1966 – Olivier Martinez, sexy (ish) French actor, and on again, off again lover of Kylie Minogue.
1968 – Heather Mills, painful ex-wife of the even more painful (and least talented Beatle) Paul McCartney.

Thanks for the info Wikipedia.

Let me know if you’d like me to add a friend, family member or little ol’ you to our daily birthday lists of (famous) people. Mail me names, years of birth, and what makes you or them famous.