Onelargeprawn
Scorpion is due for a fight today and has invited his family to watch the event. The spectre is facing Sub-Zero and the duel doesn’t go in his favour. His family is stunned, more so when Sub-Zero decides to be a really bad winner.
[via The High Definite]
I think I may have mentioned this before but back in the day when I was at varsity a girl broke up with me to hook up with her Spanish dance instructor – he taught her how to dance and she taught him how to speak English. I believe it was short-lived though, as he gave her the clap. I don’t really hold any grudges but I don’t speak to that bitch anymore. No seriously, I jest ;-)
In the same vein as Fuck My Life and Texts from Last Night, a new website – Why My Ex Sucks – asks users to tell them why their ex-partners were complete douchebags or douchBaguettes. Bitterness needs to be condensed into three reasons.
Here are some of the submissions:
Practice Makes Pervert
1. He broke my wrist when he insisted on arm wrestling me. He’s six foot three. I’m five foot even.
2. He didn’t bring me to his prom because “his dream girl” asked him last minute.
3. He cheated on me. And expected to make me feel better about it because the girls “meant nothing to him” and he was just “practicing for me.”
Healthy Habit
1. He smoked crack and stole my car. My car keys had my apartment keys attached to them, and so I was locked out for three days while the cops looked for him.
2. When we broke up and I kicked him out, he proceeded to uninstall and steal our toilet.
3. I went on vacation with my girlfriends and returned to find that he had sold all of our electronics for crack!
No Greek God
1. He BEGGED me to fly from Greece to Paris to stay with him for 3 weeks. When I got there, he all of a sudden wanted me to leave. He had made me pre-pay for the fucking tickets, so I was stuck there with no money to leave earlier.
2. When broke up with him he asked my 14-year old sister out to make me jealous so I would take him back.
3. He thought it was weird that i showered almost every day. He showered every 2-3 weeks and only because his parents told him to.
More tales of relationships gone awry at Why My Ex Sucks.
We’ve had two cars stolen from outside our house – it was a traumatic, rage-inducing experience on both occasions, with swear words aplenty and wishes that the robbers suffer through a back-street vasectomy performed by a blind epileptic with AIDS.
Other people, however, take a more calm approach when robbed. This person, for example, wrote a sympathetic note to the robber saying:
Dear bike thief, I am very sorry that circumstances in your life led you to need to steal my bike. I hope that it helped you to get your life back on track. Good luck. Love, a friend.
To which the robber replied:
Thanks, chap! Don’t worry – doing fine, the bike is terrific, hello from me mates,
Later, bicycle thief.
Now that’s just mean. My note to a bicycle thief might just be something like the letter Barbara wrote after a douchebag stole her Schwinn. How would your note be worded? Let us know.
[via Buzzfeed]