Oh how I could dig a holiday right now. A palm-fringed tropical island would be sublime, a chalet in the mountains with a wood burning fire place would be delightful, a suite at Claridges would be very special indeed. Heck, who am I kidding? A tent on the bank of the Breede would be perfect (and realistic). Alas there’s no holiday in sight for poor little moi, but at least I can take solace in the fact that some people went on holiday and didn’t have a good time. Here are some absurd complaints made by vacationing fools:
- A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel “inadequate”.
- “No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.”
- “My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”
- “I was bitten by a mosquito – no-one said they could bite.”
- “On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food at all.”
Read this for more ludicrousness.