Tag: brilliant

When I grow up I want to be a blogger like David Thorne (you need to mouse around a bit to find the way into his site but I promise it’s worth it).

Tampons
My son’s birthday is next week. When he was seven, I told him to draw pictures of what he wanted for his birthday as a visual list, when I inquired as to one image (which I first took to be a box of coloured crayons), I deciphered his explanations as it being tampons. In particular, the multicoloured brand. His only references to the product were the adverts featuring a girl jumping out of a window onto a tree which lowered her into a bmw convertible full of friends, an electric green street racing car with black flames and the ability to do a single handed handstand star-jump on a dance machine to crowd applause. I bought him a box and figured he would work it out. Yesterday I asked him what he wants for his birthday and he replied ‘not tampons’.

Riddick
While watching the movie ‘Chronicles of Riddick’ together last night, my offspring stated that he wished Riddick was his dad. When I asked why, he replied that Riddick is good looking, has muscles and is a good fighter. I told him that I wished Matthew (his arch-enemy at school) was my son because he is better at maths and has cool hair.

Girls that have said no #4
A lady (aged 190) at the counter at Myers in front of me yelled ‘my purse’ then looked at me and proclaimed ‘You took my purse’ so I said ‘yes, I took your purse, I collect them.’ and she started yelling at me and the department manager came over and I had to explain that I was not admitting to the theft, I was being sarcastic. Her purse ended up in one of the many bags she was carrying but she continued to glare at me without so much as an apology. When the girl served me she apologised and I asked her ‘why, did you arrange someone to act like an old crazy woman for me’ and she laughed and said that I was funny so I asked her out and she said no.