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Category: Weirdness
Back in the day, authors didn’t have distractions like the Internet, TV, and shopping malls. This left them with a great amount of time to write books hone their bedroom quirkiness. Here are a couple of great authors and their intimate quirks.
Lord Byron – The Nympho is in the House
Lord Byron (1788 – 1824) was more of a pimp daddy than Snoop Doggy Dogg. He kept lists of his lovers and apparently slept with more than 250 women in one year! STDs were obviously of no concern to to Mr “Mad, bad, and dangerous to know.” Byron slept with the ladies, their cousins, and supposedly his own half sister. As trophies, he used to snip a bit of hair (pubic, not scalp – duh!) from each of his conquests.
James Joyce – Farts and Spanking Gets the job Done
Despite having a long and somewhat embarrassing name, James Augustine Aloysius Joyce (1882 – 1941), wrote the landmark novel Ulysses (1922) and some extremely lewd letters to his lover, Nora Barnacle, expanding on the two things he specifically loved – being spanked, and women’s farts. In one letter to her, he sang the praises of her “arse full of farts.”
Oscar Wilde – Young Boys Inquire Within
As odd as his full name, Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 – 1900) swung both ways. Although this deviant was married to Constance Lloyd, with whom he had two children, Oscar had countless affairs with both sexes – and he preferred boys in the mid-to-late teens. How discerning, boning grown men was obviously not the right cup of tea. According to his old lover Lord Alfred Douglas, “He was hand in glove with all the little boys on the Boulevard. He never attempted to conceal it.”
Read more about the bedroom quirks of other authors at Mental Floss.
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Revenge of the babysat
Somebody smart once said never work with children or animals. This proved to be advice young Nathan Beavers of Jackson, Ohio really should have taken to heart.
Nathan was babysitting a bunch of kids in a trailer in Jackson when he clumsily trod on a four-year-old boy’s foot. This innocent bumbling act so enraged the injured toddler that he proceeded to grab a shotgun and blast it in Nathan’s general direction. Luckily for Nathan his wounds are reportedly pretty minor. The toddler has not been charged.
Nice. Trailer + Toddler + Shotgun = Only in America.
Read more.
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Light my fire
Oh I love these kind of stories. As teenagers, my sister and I used to take great delight in combing magazines and newspapers (this was long before the interweb) for grotesque Agony Aunt columns and weird stories of sexual misadventure, revenge or jealousy that ended in disaster. You know the ones that go something like “woman bites off lover’s tongue in passionate embrace”, or “Dear Aunt Rhoda my girlfriend says she can’t love me anymore because I have genital warts”, that sort of thing. The whole Bobbitt episode kept us laughing for months. Well I’m not sure if I exactly love this particular story because someone actually dies, however it is morbidly fascinating nonetheless.
An Australian woman has been arrested and is going to be charged with murder after she doused her sleeping husband’s penis with something like metholated spirits and set it on fire. The unfortunate man allegedly woke up and knocked the bottle of meths over which helped the fire to spread rapidly from his privates to engulf the couple’s entire residence. As you may have guessed, Mr Crispy was cheating on his wife, and unluckily for him she found out and sought her fiery revenge. The fire starter has issued a statement saying that it was not her intention to kill her husband, all she wanted to do was claim his penis as hers only and forever by horribly disfiguring it!
This burning issue courtesy of the Daily Express.
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Kinky Beasties
I don’t know about you, but to me, one of the best things about pets like cats and dogs is their cuddly furriness. For allergy sufferers however this cuddly yumminess results in a rather unattractive and unfortunate mien of red swollen eyes and a nasty streaming nose. However help is at hand…some enterprising (if that’s a strong enough word) people have taken the time and effort to breed dogs especially for this sniffly lot. The American Hairless Terrier is touted as a perfectly hypo-allergenic dog.
The poor (but still cuteish) beasties look quite naked, and appear to be super high maintenance – needing baths several times a week, applications of skin lotion (lanolin free ONLY!), sunscreen whenever they are outside, and clothes to protect them from the cold. Yikes you might as well have a baby! The up-side is of course no allergic reactions but also I guess no fur equals no fleas, and there’ll also be no need to vacuum pounds of dog hair off your living room every couple of days.
In case you’re interested, you can read more about these kinky beasts at several dog oriented sites including naked heart and dog breed info.
According to her bio, Candice Tripp was born a man in South Africa, but left the country to become a minger and spoon designer in the UK. Her art was cultivated in a home for orphaned wolves and seeks to capture the unity in ideologies between Star Trek’s Spock and the modern musical philosopher, Enya.
Her 24 year old’s art is altogether quite odd. See below – click the images to see them bigger.
See more of her work at candicetripp.com – via Neatorama.
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Al Dente
Al Dente is an animated short movie produced by Supinfocom, France and is about a little peasant girl who discovers the magic and the dangers of an ogre’s kitchen.
Click Play or go to the official site – via Haha.nu.
According to Hogin, “The allegorical canvases of faulty fauna, mutant fruit and brand-loyal monkeys suggest the lavishness and opulent detail of the17th through 19 th century European traditions to which they refer, but these painterly flourishes and delicate details belie subversive cultural critique.”
See more of her work at LittleJohn Contemporary Gallery.
Cracked.com reports on the 5 individuals not content with just leaving their names in the footnotes of history.
Chrysippus: Death By Performing Donkey
Chrysippus (280 – 207 BC), renowned philosopher and party fiend, was boozing it up with his donkey (name still unkown) when the animal tried to eat some figs. The donkey’s attempt were so funny that Chrysippus laughed so hard, keeled over, and died.
President Félix Faure: Death by Bow-chicka-bow-wow
On February 16, 1899 French president Félix Faure made a booty call in his own office with a gold-digger named Marguerite Steinheil. Story has it that Faure has fatal stroke right in the middle of orgasm. At least he died happy.
Aeschylus: Bludgeoned With a Turtle
Sicilian eagles love turtles and have a cunning way of getting past the hard shells of their prey. The eagles lift turtles up to great heights, and then drop them on rocks to crack them open.
Aeschylus, widely regarded to be the founder of Greek tragedy, was loitering around one day when an eagle mistook his bald head for a rock, and proceed to drop it’s catch onto his head. Aeschylus died but the turtle survived.
Arius: Death by Expoding Bowel
Arius one of the most prominent heretics of early Christianity, and someone obviously wan’t happy about him suggesting that there might have been a time when Christ hadn’t existed.
This is what one of this political opponents said:
“A faintness came over him, and together with the evacuations his bowels protruded, followed by a copious hemorrhage, and the descent of the smaller intestines: moreover portions of his spleen and liver were brought off in the effusion of blood, so that he almost immediately died.”
Herod the Great: Gangrene of the Genitalia
Herod the Great, king of Judaea, was responsible for the Massacre of the Innocents. God tends to frown upon acts involving the senseless murder of babies and thus imbued unto Herod what is known today as Fournier gangrene – a horrendous necrotizing infection of the genitalia.
Read the full article at cracked.com.