OnelargeprawnWe’ve featured a couple of Star Wars mashups on the blog, most notably Han Solo, P.I. We haven’t really covered much in the way of Star Trek aside from mentioning that smut magazine Hustler have made a XXX parody called This Ain’t Star Trek.
And we’d like to take a step in correcting the imbalance by showing you this – a movie mashup of the funniest Monty Python song, “Knights of the Round Table”, performed by the cast of Star Trek. Check it out below.
[Thanks Lucy!]
I don’t know about you but I don’t like to think about what ghastly tortures a cow went through to become the juicy fillet sitting on my dinner plate. Ignorance is total bliss.
Equally, I’d prefer not to know who or what the person in the Mickey Mouse costume looks like. Disneyland Paris on the other hand disagrees and decided to unglove the lovable mascot in a bid to “humanize Mickey Mouse”.
Sweet baby Jesus! The hand only has four freaking fingers (alliteration, I knows it ;-)) – and stubby ones at that. What child is going to hold hands with a four-fingered monster? I think this ad has succeeded in offering a potentially human element to Mickey Mouse as much as Syphilis has done to improve your IQ.
What do you think?
[via Copyranter]
Sacha Baron Cohen never fails to amuse me. The star of the upcoming movie Brüno made a hilarious entrance in the MTV Movie Awards. As he soared into the auditorium with wings strapped on his back, he seemed to hit the rigging, strained his sugar lumps, and splashed down on top of unwitting rapper Eminem. I don’t know if this was ‘planned’ not but Bruno landed face down with his balls in Eminem’s face! Epic win!
Watch the video below. If it gets removed due to copyright infringements, you can try HERE or HERE.
Brüno’s delivered the best male performance ever, but Eminem didn’t take the joke too well and left the stage disgusted. He obviously didn’t get the memo.
BONUS: The 2009 MTV Movie Award winners can be found at Channel 24.
[via Buzzfeed]
What the hell is this? If you thought it was a medieval siege weapon, or something used to hunt whales, you’d be sorely mistaken.
This contraption is called The Plow and is classified as a premiere fucking machine according to its website [NSFW – porn].
Priced in the $500 to S750 range, The Plow is being marketed to people who need a sex machine that won’t break the bank (but it may break your privates). It features a quiet motor, stroke adjustability, and is powder coated in gloss black for beauty. It comes with the standard attachment system but optional dildos can be purchased.
This machine is so smooth, quiet and easy to use it allows you to focus more on your pleasure and less on your mechanical abilities.
Read more about 17 more disturbing sex toys at Cracked.com [NSFW].
[via Asylum]
The Japanese a traditionally known for their wacky antics – from air sex to ‘tard wrestling to penis-worshipping festivals, they just excel at any and all weird shit. This character trait also seeps into gaming and Namco’s Muscle March (or Muscle Koushinkyoku in Japanese) might just be the most bizarre Wii game yet seen.
The trailer’s in Japanese and from what I make out, some massively roided-up dudes are running around levels chasing an NFL footballer who has stolen their “supplements”. With their thongs firmly lodged between rock-hard butt cheeks, these bodybuilders stop occasionally for what look like weight-lifting poses. To top it off, the only woman in the game looks like a man who wears bikinis for a living, and there’s a polar bear in diapers. Yes, you read right – a polar bear. In diapers.
Check out the trailer below.
I don’t know if apprehensive anticipation describes what I’m feeling right now but I’m strangely drawn to this game. Muscle March releases as a WiiWare title in Japan on May 26th.
[via Buzzfeed]
BONUS: Take a look at these extreme bodybuilders.
Lucy Furr brought topic of exorcism up at the dinner table. I would have given her my patented “WTF?” look but my face was happily buried in my food. She talked about listening to a recording of a russian exorcism and the horrific sounds that came with it. With my interest piqued, a quick google revealed the clip at About.com: Paranormal Phenomena.
In May 1st 2004, Eugene Safronov, an assistant to one of the exorcists in the Russian Orthodox Church, made a chilling recording of an actual exorcism that he bore witness to. A 16-year old girl is being held down in a chair by her mother whilst a priest stands over her reading the rite of exorcism. As he proceeds, the girl starts to struggle as if the priest’s words are burning her.
The girl struggles violently, her groans becoming inhuman howls and deep, guttural moans of psychological pain. Then she lashes out at the priest, and in a voice that seems not to be her own, spits words of defiance.
Toward the end of the recording, the girl, with an unearthly voice, shouts something in Russian at the priest. The translation, Eugene says, is, “I am not leaving her! I am not!”
Click play to listen to the extraordinary recording. WARNING: If you are easily upset or have a nervous disposition this may lead to a pants-shitting experience. I was fine as I had done a poo earlier.
That was pretty freaky. I’m off to my happy place now.
BONUS: Listverse goes through the top 10 most incredible recordings from the only recorded true castrato, to Florence Nightingale, to the last 30 minutes of the Jonestown massacre.
If I could I would burn all the family photos that I was in. It’s not that I hate my family (love you mom, love you dad!) but the years between 1991 and 2001 were unkind to me – a rubbish hairstyle and dubious dress-sense plagued my everyday existence.
I’m certain that that our family snaps would be in great company with those shown on Awkward Family Photos – a collection of weird, off-kilter family photos. So awkward, so magical.
More at Awkward Family Photos.
Oh sweet baby Jesus! This the true pain that comes from a romantic tryst gone wrong.
Metro.co.uk reports that an adulterous boss and his secretary were having an affair in a car in a Singapore park when their good times was cut short, so to speak, by a reversing van. The 30-year old secretary was performing fellatio on her boss and the impact of the crash caused her to bite her lover’s penis off!
It that’s not humiliating enough, this whole incident was observed by a private detective who had been sent by the woman’s husband. The detective said that the car ‘shook violently’, was then hit by the van, and a woman screamed loudly, with her mouth covered in blood. No word on whether the chomped love muscle survived the accident.
BONUS: Improve your car-sex technique with the Ca’a’sutra. It’s not in english, but the photos are self-explanatory. Oh and cartoon sex may be NSFW at some workplaces.
Mad science was invented ages go, and Giovanni Aldini (1762 – 1834) was a certainly a member of the club. This Italian physicist primarily worked on the medical applications of galvanism and used to tour across Europe electrifying human and animal bodies for the delight of the public. His notoriety peaked in 1803 when he performed at the Royal College of Surgeons in London – using his conducting rods on the body of a hanged criminal named George Foster, he caused the dead man’s muscles to contract and distort. Aldini was made a knight by the emperor of Austria for his fabulous showmanship.
Moving into the modern times, I give you Experiments in Galvanism by mad scientist artist Garnet Hertz. The project implanted a miniature webserver into the body of a dead frog and enabled remote viewers are to trigger a movement in the frog’s legs!
Experiments in Galvanism is the culmination of studio and gallery experiments in which a miniature computer is implanted into the dead body of a frog specimen. Akin to Damien Hirst’s bodies in formaldehyde, the frog is suspended in clear liquid contained in a glass cube, with a blue ethernet cable leading into its splayed abdomen. The computer stores a website that enables users to trigger physical movement in the corpse: the resulting movement can be seen in gallery, and through a live streaming webcamera.
An image of the frog’s wired-up innards is after the jump.
Our slitty-eyed friends in the far east never cease to amaze me. From Japan comes what could possibly be the bloodiest (and dumbest) sport in history. Two rotund gentlemen batter each other with fluorescent tube lights until there is a winner. Check out some pics of this brutal blood sport.
It’s like fighting with reject light sabers minus the needless decapitation.
[via Oddity Central]