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Cautionary Tales Useful/Useless Info

Hello horoscope

pisces

Yes it’s another horoscope – read it though it’s funny.
If you’re a Pisces, HAPPY BIRTHDAY month!

Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20
You’re stuck in a rut this week, but look on the bright side. At least you’re not stuck in a rut in Bloemfontein. Unless you are, in which case have you considered becoming addicted to morphine?

Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18

Your doctor has never seen one that big, but don’t panic. There’s no reason to let it change your daily routine. Except you might want to put a paper bag over it, just so passing women and children stop screaming.

Capricorn Dec 22 – Jan 19
This week you will yearn for the country life. Until you drive into the country and remember that it’s full of shops without fridges selling lukewarm 7-Up and garlic polony.

Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21

A late-night drinking game involving a bottle of Captain Morgan and a tube of KY gel will end in the emergency room, with a doctor confirming that you’ve got a little Captain in you.

Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 21
You’ll win an important argument at work this week. Your colleague will insist that Porky’s was the worst film the of the 1980s, but history will support you in your claim that it was Caddyshack.

Libra Sep 23 – Oct 23
Remember that your body is a temple. It’s time to kick out the moneylenders, but be careful not to punch a rabbi in the mouth.

Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 22

Your bad sex life is directly related to work stress. Get to the root of the problem. Have sex with your boss.

Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22
Don’t be discouraged by the negativity of your friends. Just because your one true love gave you a fake phone number, took his/her name out of the phonebook, got a restraining order and bought a gun, it doesn’t mean he/she doesn’t see a future with you. One day you’ll make them all see that. Even it means using violence.

Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22

Remember, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. But a bird in the hand can also make it difficult to brush your teeth or type up important documents. Weigh up your bird options carefully.

Gemini May 21 – Jun 21
Worries at work will reach a climax as whispering behind your back turns to laughter, mime, and finally a float parade featuring burning effigies of you. Stay focused, and it will pass.

Taurus Apr 20 – May 20
Do not under any circumstances trust your horoscope this week.

Aries Mar 21 – Apr 19
Be especially careful around loved ones who are ill. A repeat of last year’s accidental life-support switch-off will not go down well, especially if you again claim you thought it was the plug for the kettle.

Via Hayibo.

Categories
Awesomeness Useful/Useless Info

Horoscopes I like

star chart

Aries Mar 21 – Apr 19
Your foot will fall asleep this Thursday, but not before draining a full bottle of whiskey, throwing up in an abandoned parking lot, and repeatedly calling its ex-wife on the phone.

Taurus Apr 20 – May 20
The ghost of Richard Dean Anderson will soon pay you a visit and spend the entire time insisting he’s not dead yet.

Gemini May 21 – Jun 21
This week be sure to pray to St. Harold, the Patron Saint of Falling Down The Basement Stairs, Shattering Both Your Hips, And Laying Paralyzed Until Someone Gets Home.

Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22
Cancer had its latest prediction all set to go, but then it found out about this cool new thing called Twitter, and well…you understand.

Read the rest of these hilarious horoscopes after the jump.

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Cautionary Tales History Useful/Useless Info

Flipping the Bird: A Quick History

The middle finger happens to be our oldest and the most common of insulting gestures. Before you and I were liberally handing out the highway digit on our nation’s roads, the Romans and medieval Europeans were merrily using the digitus impudicus or digitus infamis (indecent or infamous digit). Roman emperor and sexual pervert Caligula often handed out his middle finger to be kissed by his enemies. It was all fun and games until he got stabbed in the neck by one of his enemies.

Before the Romans, an Athenian comedian by the name of Aristophanes provided the earliest literary reference to the gesture – he created a feisty character who gave Socrates the finger. There is only so much philosophy one can take before it gets irritating.

Along with the Romans and Athenians, the Arabs and Russians contributed to the universal appeal of the middle finger. Adding spice to the mix, the Arabian sign consisted of an outstretched hand, palm down, with all fingers splayed except the middle, which sticks downwards. And the Russian version bends the middle finger of one hand back with the forefinger of the other in a gesture they call “looking under the cat’s tail.”

Read the full article at Mental Floss.

Categories
Cautionary Tales Hints & Tips Mindlessness Useful/Useless Info

High as a Kite: Top 10 Common Myths About Cannabis

Doobie, dope, roach, reefer, weed, Mary Jane, boom, splif, ganja – 10 common names for cannabis. Now here are the 10 common myths about Cannabis.

10. Fat Storage

Myth: Cannabis’ active ingredient THC gets stored in body fat and its effects can last days or even weeks.

Fact: It is true that cannabis (like many other drugs) enters the body’s fat stores, and it is for this reason that it can be detected long after use, but that is the only part of this myth which is true. The fact is, the psychoactive aspects of the stored cannabis are used up quickly and while the residue of the drug remains, it no longer has any effect on the person. Furthermore, the presence of THC in body fat is not harmful to the fat, the brain, or any other part of the body.

9. Memory Loss

Myth: Cannabis use causes memory loss and a general reduction in logic and intelligence.

Fact: This is another myth which has elements of truth to it – no doubt the reason it is believed by so many. Laboratory tests have shown that cannabis diminishes the short term memory – but only when a person is intoxicated with it. A person who has taken cannabis will be able to remember things learned before they took it but may have trouble learning new information during intoxication. There is no scientific evidence whatsoever to suggest that this can become a long-term or permanent problem when sober.

8. Scientific Proof

Myth: Cannabis has been scientifically proven to be harmful.

Fact: Let us start with a quote: “the smoking of cannabis, even long term, is not harmful to health.” This quote comes from the peer-reviewed British medical journal The Lancet (founded in 1823). There is certainly no scientific consensus on cannabis use, and certainly no scientific proof that casual use is dangerous to health.

Hit the jump for more myths or go to The List Universe.

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Music Useful/Useless Info

Taxonomy: Heavy Metal Band Names

Graphic designer and comedian Doogie Horner created this entertaining heavy metal band name taxonomy.  The down-pointing pentagram is a very nice touch.

Click to see bigger.

– via Boing Boing.

Categories
Awesomeness Useful/Useless Info

Old-school tapes

my own cassette

I don’t know how many of you even own a cassette player anymore, and I don’t think anywhere round here (where I live) sells them either. They were a blast though weren’t they? All those hours of unwravelling and winding tape that your nasty player had thoughtlessly eaten, then having all your favourite songs warble away sounding only somewhat familiar forever after.

I loved cassettes though seriously. They gave me freedom from the kak music played on the radio. Anyhow to cut a long story short (I wish I actualy had!) says-it.com provides a generator where you can relive those nostalgic days of tapes by making your own to look at. They also have a videotape generator.

Categories
Hints & Tips Useful/Useless Info

Spotting a Hidden Gun

A handy guide for making you even more paranoid and distrustful of the people around you. Click image to see it bigger.

– via Reddit.

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Hints & Tips Science & Technology Useful/Useless Info

Hacking Your Brain

I’ve always thought hallucinations came at a price – drugs like LSD and mescaline aren’t cheap and I’m not arsed to pay for them. The Boston Globe, however, seems to think you can fling open the doors of perception without having to visit your local dealer.

Here are two simple tricks that mad scientists have thought up to tricking your brain into perceiving what we know isn’t real.

The Ganzfeld Procedure

This trick involves using a radio and ping-pong balls. Turn on the radio and find a station playing static. Then lie down on a couch or bed and secure a pair of halved ping-pong balls over your eyes. You should experience some bizarre distortions within a few minutes. Hallucinations may vary from seeing horses prancing about in the clouds to hearing the voice of a dead relative.

Incredible Shrinking Pain

This trick uses the newest painkiller on the market – inverted binoculars. Oxford University scientists have found out that test subjects looking at a wounded hand through the wrong end of the felt less pain and swelling. By making the hand appear smaller, the brain is tricked into reducing the bodily sensations of pain.

See more tricks to hack your brain at The Boston Globe – via Blame it on the Voices.

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Cartoons & Comics Lists Useful/Useless Info

Fascinating Cigarette Smoking Facts

During the last century, cigarettes have gone from being the darling playmate bunny that everyone wanted to shag to the drunken stepfather that you’d wouldn’t leave alone with your children. At one time, sportsmen, actors, and celebrities promoted the coolness of cigarettes on television, but now smoking is considered an nasty, socially-unacceptable habit that could endanger you and the people around you.

Here are some interesting cigarette smoking facts you, or president-elect Barack Obama, may or may not have known.

  • Cigarettes are the single-most traded item on the planet, with approximately 1 trillion being sold from country to country each year.
  • U.S. cigarette manufacturers now make more money selling cigarettes to countries around the globe than they do selling to Americans.
  • Urea, a chemical compound that is a major component in urine, is used to add “flavor” to cigarettes.
  • The ‘Cork Tip’ filter was originally invented in 1925 by Hungarian inventor Boris Aivaz, who patented the process of making the cigarette filter from crepe paper. All kinds of filters were tested, although ‘cork’ is unlikely to have been one of them.
  • Contrary to popular social belief, it is NOT illegal to smoke tobacco products at any age. Parents are within the law to allow minors to smoke, and minors are within the law to smoke tobacco products freely. However, the SALE of tobacco products is highly regulated with legal legislation.
  • Scientists claim the average smoker will lose 14 years of their life due to smoking. This however does not necessarily mean that a smoker will die young – and they may still live out a ‘normal’ lifespan.
  • The United States is the only major cigarette market in the world in which the percentage of women smoking cigarettes (22%) comes close to the number of men who smoke (35%).
  • Sugar approximates to roughly 20% of a cigarette, and many diabetics are unaware of this secret sugar intake. Also, the effect of burning sugar is unknown.
  • Smokers draw on ‘lite’ and menthol cigarettes harder (on average) than regular cigarettes; causing the same overall levels of tar and nicotine to be consumed.
  • Smokers often smoke after meals to ‘allow food to digest easier’. In fact, this works because the bodies priority moves away from the digestion of food in favor of protecting the blood cells and flushing toxins from the brain.
  • According to the World Health Organization, approximately 25% of cigarettes sold around the world are smuggled.
  • Nicotine reaches the brain within 10 seconds after smoke is inhaled. It has been found in every part of the body and in breast milk.
  • ‘Toppings’ are added to the blended tobacco mix to add flavor and a taste unique to the manufacturer. Some of these toppings have included; clove, licorice, orange oil, apricot stone, lime oil, lavender oil, dill seed oil, cocoa, carrot oil, mace oil, myrrh, beet juice, bay leaf, oak, rum, vanilla, and vinegar.

See more facts at The List Verse.

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Awesomeness Mindlessness Useful/Useless Info Video Clips

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop!

The Apple MacBook Wheel is a revolutionary new laptop that replaces the traditional keyboard with a single touch-sensitive click wheel. Typing will be a thing of the past – with the MacBook Wheel everything is only a few hundred clicks away. Included is the state-of-the-art Hummingbird battery which can power the computer for a full 19 minutes. So simple, and perfect. I love it.

Click play to view the full new reports.