OnelargeprawnAah yes, The Onion. ONN never fails to make me chuckle, and this video is no exception.
Google has offered internet users the opportunity to “Opt Out” of their services, and live in completely privacy. In order to do so, however, you need to move to a remote village and your home will be destroyed.
Whilst completing my Bachelor of Alcoholism degree at a certain university in the Eastern Cape, I took a course in statistics. What are the chances of me remembering any of it? Slim to none. That is a pity as I’m always running out of conversation topics at parties and much to the grimace of Lucy Furr, I often resort to back-ups like the world’s strongest vagina, or disturbing taxidermy jewellery.
But that is soon to change. Now I can titillate bore everyone with a whole range of statistics. From population to society and media, to environment and health, Worldometers provides real time statistics that are fantastic and frightening at the same time. Here’s a snapshot I took earlier.
WOW! See more numbers in real time at Worldometers.
Another worrying statistic: Number of cigarettes left in box: 1. :pain:
[Thanks Gavin]
The other day I was sitting on the toilet and as one does, I asked myself “Dude, like how much is a Petabyte?” Unsurprisingly I hadn’t the remotest clue what the answer was so I quickly changed the conversation to big hairy balls. This is my modus operandi when cornered by difficult questions or people.
It wasn’t until today that I remembered the toilet question and a convenient tweet from shawnroos revealed the answer:
There you have it. Now both you and I can impress the laydeez with our knowledge of frankly useless facts. :yes:
Ah so much nostalgia. Sitting round the TV on wintry Saturday afternoons eating Corn Curls, drinking Sparletta Cherry Plum and watching David Carradine in Kung Fu and Kung Fu: The Legend Continues. Those were the days man. Needless to say I was very sad to hear that David Carradine famous for playing Kwai Chang Caine and Bill in Kill Bill had topped himself in a hotel room in Bangkok. There is much speculation as to whether like INXS vocalist Michael Hutchence, David Carradine didn’t actually mean to hang himself, but rather died as the result of a (solo?) sex act gone wrong.
Whatever happened, I think David Carradine was a fantastic actor and had a certain charisma about him that made even corny kung fu TV shows seem special.
Goodbye Grasshopper and good luck for whatever comes next.
Mostly the peeps over at The Onion have the same dark, cynical, and often down right depressing view of our world that I do. Although sometimes, even I, the devil’s handmaiden find their stories a little too on the bitter side and they remind me of that awful stuff my gran used to put on my nails to stop me biting them when I was little.
Yesterday however I found their amusing Our Dumb World Atlas of the Planet Earth, and it rocks. They’ve added their Our Dumb World layer to Google Earth. It features little onion icons, that when clicked on, pop up country profiles and other interesting cultural, political and historical facts. Well I don’t know if I should actually call them facts, as most of them are made up – anyway they’re funny go check it out.
I’m one of those hopeless people that gets all depressed and a little crazy when one of their favourite TV series comes to an end. You should have seen me after the finale of the first season of Lost – hatters weren’t in it mate. I couldn’t sleep at night because I hadn’t gotten my weekly dose of jungle drama, spent all day wondering what was happening to Sayid and Kate and Jack on that godforsaken piece of rock in the middle of nowhere, talked about all the characters all the time to anyone who would listen including the cats – I think I pretty much took my whole household down crazy street with me.
Anyway Lost has been replaced in my affections by the brilliant and gripping Battlestar Galactica. We watched the last episode ever the other night, and as you may have guessed, I’ve been feeling pretty down (although that might also be the gentle caresses of PMS). Today I was reading some arb non-sense about second hand smoke and one of those nearly always awful advertising banners caught my eye. Usually I can just zone that crap out, but this one was different, special even. It was advertising a spin-off of my beloved Battlestar Galactica, and it’s called Caprica. Oh yes oh yay. The series is a prequel of sorts, set 58 years before the holocaust at the hands of the dreaded Cylons on the planet Caprica. It might not be as good as Battle Star Galactica – some people are bitching about it already, but I can’t wait to see it nonetheless.
Here for your viewing pleasure is a sneaky preview.
Or you can watch in here at YouTube.
Just the other day, I found myself a new and surprisingly innocent form of entertainment on the intertubes. They’re called shaggy dog tales, and are usually long involved stories that end with a pointless or plainly absurd punchline. Most of the punchlines are heavy on puns – and y’all know how I love a good pun. My most favourite to date involves some french foreign legionnaires and dessert in the desert, but it’s quite long winded, so here’s one of the shorter shaggy dogs (more of a shaggy puppy I suppose) for your entertainment:
A mother lion and father lion had gone off hunting, and had told their two cubs not to wander away. However, a couple of small wildebeests ambled by, and the young lions could not resist the temptation to try out their own hunting skills. They ran out, chased after the animals, killed them, and started eating them.
Just as the cubs were reaching the end of their meal, the parents appeared in the distance. One of the baby lions turned to the other, and said: “That is the end of the gnus. Here again are the head lions.”
If you liked that one, there are loads more here.
Do you wish you had the time to read something that is simultaneously intellectually-nourishing and entertaining – aside from this blog obviously? Well now you can read a novel on the internet while you’re at “work”. And even better, it’s a novel in serial form, so those of you not accustomed to reading more than a few paragraphs at a time won’t wear yourselves out!
Many famous authors have been published in serial form in newspapers, albeit most of this crazy coolness went on in the Victorian era with writers like Charles Dickens. It was a great way for writers and readers to make the novel last years – rather like a soap opera but obviously way better. The telegraph.co.uk has published a novel by author Alexander McCall Smith whose first book #1 Ladies’ Detective Agency reached the top of best seller lists around the world. McCall Smith’s Corduroy Mansions has been published as a daily novel in 100 parts, from the comments I read, it looks like a fun book. You can read and enjoy it here.
What common English word is 9 letters long, and each time you remove a letter from it, it still remains an English word?
Once you see it, the answer is quite startling. Click Play or go to Vimeo.
From the people behind I Can Has Cheezburger comes 140pedia, a site that enables users to create and share their explanations of things. Each entry needs to fit within the Twitter 140 character limit.
It’s early days yet but here are some of the better entries:
Milkshake (literary device)
A thing that brings all the males to the grassy field. Also may be, a thing that is drunk by an oil prospecting neighbor.
Douchebag (Noun)
An ape-like male creature w/ a fetish for tiny shirts that show man-nipples. Often overexposed w/ tanning lotion n hair spray.
Brokeback Mountain (Film)
2 non-gay dudes go 2 gayest named mt. ever n learn dey r teh gay. Hot priv. gay love ensues. Str8 guys cry on viewing
Submit your explanations at 140pedia – via Laughing Squid.