Category: Risqué

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Entertainment Mindlessness Risqué

This is South Africa’s Sexiest Woman

For my first post today, I had considered putting up a video of two men coming face-to-face with a shark in the shark cage, but none of them died so I decided to go with SA’s sexiest woman instead. Capetonian Lyndall Jarvis received over a million sweaty-palmed votes and has been crowned this year’s FHM Sexiest Woman in South Africa.

Some of the more attentive gamers out there may recognize the 25-year old Jarvis from the PS3 exclusive Metal Gear Solid 4 where the character Laughing Octopus was modelled on her lady bits.

Here are some images I found on the Google so their authenticity is dubious at best.


Leigh-Ann Mol took his photo of Jarvis during her chat with Gareth Cliff in the 5 FM studios.

Word has it that her shoe size is an 8 and has a boyfriend who is a Sharks supporter so its bad news for the lads wanting to get a piece of the Jarvis pie.

BONUS: Here’s the video of “Two Men and a Shark”.

Categories
Risqué Weirdness

This Sex Toy Could Mangle Your Privates!

What the hell is this? If you thought it was a medieval siege weapon, or something used to hunt whales, you’d be sorely mistaken.

This contraption is called The Plow and is classified as a premiere fucking machine according to its website [NSFW – porn].

Priced in the $500 to S750 range, The Plow is being marketed to people who need a sex machine that won’t break the bank (but it may break your privates). It features a quiet motor, stroke adjustability, and is powder coated in gloss black for beauty. It comes with the standard attachment system but optional dildos can be purchased.

This machine is so smooth, quiet and easy to use it allows you to focus more on your pleasure and less on your mechanical abilities.

Read more about 17 more disturbing sex toys at Cracked.com [NSFW].

[via Asylum]

Categories
Arty Risqué

Milky Maidens

I rarely do anything without reason. Just the other day, Lucy Furr and sister Muppet went to watch Sean Penn’s potrayal of gay rights activist Harvey Milk as he attempts to become the first openly gay man to be voted into major public office in the United States. Anyhow, that got me thinking – it’s been an age since I last posted anything about milk.

Russian photographer Andrey Razoomovsky has produced some risque photos involving milk as clothing for some pretty hot models. These photos are manipulated but to great effect. There are some exposed lady bits but I have censored them, so it’s safe for children.

The photos are after the jump.

Continue reading “Milky Maidens”
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Mindlessness Risqué Video Clips

Air Sex Championships: Fake it for the Win!

It’s Friday and what better than to start it off with sex. And not just any run-of-the-mill sex, oh no, we’re talking AIR SEX! That’s right, come (oyi bad choice of word there) the month of June, several American cities will be hosting the this year’s Air Sex Championship where horny hopefuls take to the stage and simulate sweet and/or filthy sex with an invisible partner. Unsurprisingly air sex was first invented by those perennial weirdos, the Japanese.

Entrants can choose their own music and can get naked depending on the laws of the state they’re in. Food is usually served at these competitions, so orgasms have to be simulated.

Check out a clip of the Air Sex Championships at Fantastic Fest 2008. It’s like playing air guitar but with a happier ending ;-)

More info, pics, and videos at Air Sex.

[via Zoomdoggle]

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Cautionary Tales Music Risqué Video Clips

Puke in my Mouth: The Ladies Response to Jizz in my Pants

Some time back we posted about jizzing in our pants and now it’s time for the female response to the famous parody. Check it out.

Big ups to the girls puking in their mouths! The lyrics are after the jump.

Continue reading “Puke in my Mouth: The Ladies Response to Jizz in my Pants”
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Movies Risqué Video Clips

This Ain’t Star Trek: A Hustler Porn Parody

Somewhere out there, a person’s (wet) dream has just been realized. Hustler is due to release a Star Trek porno a few days after the new film drops.

Hustler will boldly go where many had gone before, and their much-anticipated magnum opus entitled This Ain’t Star Trek XXX and will be available for download on May 12th. Check out the trailer [SFW].

Incidentally, of the more than 100 offenders the Child Exploitation Section of the Toronto Sex Crimes Unit arrested between 2001 and 2005, all but one had been a hard-core Trekkie. It doesn’t mean that watching Star Trek makes you a paedophile; it does mean that if you’re a pedophile, odds are you’ve watched a lot of Star Trek :silly:

[via The Daily What]

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Mindlessness Risqué Video Clips

The Hottest Cleavage Commercials

Sometimes we men are simple creatures and are easily amused aroused. Advertising agencies lose sight of that fact and tend to overload us with over-complicated ads featuring orchestral scores, dramatic cinematography, puzzling symbolism, and too many words. If you get down to the crass facts, the agencies don’t need big budgets and elaborate concepts…they just need to add cleavage.

At least that is what Manofest thinks as they break down the 10 hottest cleavage commercials of all time. Here are a few of them:

Nandos – For big breasts go to Nandos.

Heidi Klum – The 36-year old’s jiggly lingerie shifted many Guitar Hero units.

Nissan Pathfinder – It has independent suspension.

See more at Manofest [via Lolblips]

Categories
Movies Risqué Video Clips Weirdness

Here be Dildos: The Brüno Trailer

Sacha Baron Cohen is back! Borat was crude and totally hilarious, and in the first trailer for his new movie, Brüno, Cohen goes down the same distasteful path but with added homosexual humour, more nudity, and of course, dildos.

As Bruno, the gay Austrian fashion reporter, Cohen causes a metric fuckton of trouble wherever he goes. The movie also known as Bruno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt is due for release in July 2009 and has already been rated NC-17 by the US censors.

Watch the trailer below [Contains some NSFW content].

[via What Would Tyler Durden Do?]

Categories
Mindlessness Risqué

This Porn is Safe For Work!

Ask and the Internet shall provide. For those people who like to sneak in the quick glance at porn in the office, here is a small gallery of previously-NSFW photos that have been re-touched to make them safe for viewing at work.

See more at Porn SFW – thanks Oddsock.

Categories
Mindlessness Risqué

Q&A: Why Does Steam Come Out of my Vagina?

Another classic question from Yahoo! Answers, where a troubled lady person, e!mily, has steam emanating from her vajajay when she sits down on the toilet. Rather than consulting a doctor or a neighbourhood steampunk designer, she asks the Internet for explanations.

ok, so i know this is really gross, but sometimes when i sit down on the toilet it looks like steam is coming out of my vagina. am i gonna die or do i have like this crazy weird disease? i;ve been searching the internet and i cant find anything. can someone explain this to me.?!?!?

Here are some of the replies:

  • Next time this happens, place a ceramic cup with 1 spoon of Nescafe Gold Blend, 2 sugars and a dash of milk between your legs.
    Bon Apetite!
  • You won’t die, but some ancient cultures believe in a pillow monster that lives in your vagina. This isnt acknowledged in modern medicine, however, the steam could be caused be the troll exhaling.
  • It’s a raptor on a locomotive, attempting to rob you of your precious eggs. You must stop him at all costs if you ever want children.
  • The little pussy that could!
  • Do you have red hair? I heard once ” fire on the top… fire down below!”
  • That’s hot.
  • OH NO! Steam coming out of your vagina can only mean one thing…..that the Dark Lord Sauron is forging another ring of power from within you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Is there a choo-choo in your hoo-hoo?

See the list at Yahoo! Answers – via Buzzfeed.