Category: Flash Games

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Flash Games

Flash Game Friday: Gen

Man I feel ill. “Come for one drink” eventually resulted in me exiting the bar at 3 in the morning, along with the extremely “refreshed” Lucy Furr and some very cool people I had met earlier.

It’s like a squirrel nut-chomping orgy is going on in my head. As such, me efforts today will be limited to Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V. Today’s flash game is called Gen.

All of your precious spheres have been scattered far from the safety of the main sphere. It is up to you to gently guide them back.

To do this you must use your ability to attract the smaller spheres towards the rescue sphere. With a cluster of them in pursuit you must make sure they stay away from peril and reach their goal.

Play Gen at Kongregate.

Categories
Flash Games

Line Game: The Orange Edition

Being an orange can be a thankless life – having your insides squeezed out and put into a bottle can’t be a pleasant experience. And in Line Game: Orange Edition, one orange trail is sick of here and wants to go home. Using your mouse, guide the trail through fiendish caves, avoiding the walls and enemies as you head towards the exit.

Play it at Kongregate.

Categories
Flash Games

Flash Game Friday: Monkey Metric

Ooh ooh ooh Aaah aah aaH!

That being said, today’s flash game is about a family of monkeys whose very existence is threatened by a fire mountain that they decided so cleverly to live next to. One brave monkey must set forth to save the collective. And that brave monkey is unfortunately you.

Use the arrow keys to move, and the spacebar to toggle the switches in this cutesy isometric puzzle game.

Play Monkey Metric at Armor Games.

Categories
Awesomeness Flash Games

Perfect Balance: New Trials

Woohoo!  I completely loved the first Perfect Balance game. Lucy Furr wasn’t impressed but that’s because she busy smoking fags and chasing your boys when she should have been attending physics class. Ah, but I digress.

In the latest version of the physics puzzle game by ttursas, aptly titled New Trials, you rotate and stack shapes once again in the pursuit of perfect balance. There are 30 new frustrating levels!

Play Perfect Balance: New Trials at Kongregate.

Categories
Flash Games

Death Vs. Monstars

Here’s another perfect complement to the death-related Flash game we posted last week. In Death Vs. Monstars, you get to play Death and, unsurprisingly, you like to kill stuff. And in this frantic arena shooter, you’ll be using your guns to down swarms of monsters. As you move, you fire constantly in the opposite direction of your movement, unless you hold the mouse to lock it down. Top up your anger meter and and release an almighty wave of destruction, and collect the coins to upgrade your gats.

Play Death Vs. Monstars at Kongregate.

Categories
Flash Games

Flash Game Friday: Bloody Fun Day

Being the grim reaper has its perks – black is always a fashionable colour, and no one in the right mind is going to pick a fight with a scythe-carrying skeleton. Perfect for Friday the 13th, Bloody Fun Day is an addictive puzzler where you get to play as the reaper bringing death upon cute little critters and and harvesting their tasty souls.

Each movement on the board decreases your health and if your health reaches zero, you’ll perish. To stay alive, you need to kill the red cuties to regenerate health; killing the other cuties will help charge various special powers that make it easier to get to the red cuties. You’ll need to plan a path out and think a few steps ahead – avoid getting into a spot where you have nowhere to go or have to stomp on eggs to get to the cuties.

Play Bloody Fun Day at Kongregate.

Categories
Flash Games

Double-Decker Timewaster: Unique & Tontie

Did someone order a double-decker timewaster sandwich? It arrived just in time for your lunch break ;)

In Unique, you need to click the icon that is different from the others. Doing it fast earns you more points. Keen eyesight and quick fingers will win the day. Clear all 50 levels and submit your score to a worldwide leaderboard. I scored a pitiful 130 000 score.

Tontie is an evolved whack-a-mole game where you use the numeric keypad to whack the Tonties as they appear. Each number corresponds to the hole Tontie pops up from. There are 20 stages. Can you defeat the last boss? I’m totally useless at this and being the bad workman that I am, the rubbish laptop keyboard is entirely to blame.

Play Unique | Play Tontie.

Categories
Flash Games Mindlessness

I am a Super Hero!

Now this is fun time-waster. With a new online hero generator called “The Hero Factory”, you can build you own super hero from the ground up, with several options for facial types, upper body and lower body costumes, suit colors, weapons, and accessories. The 80’s throwback soundtrack is an excellent touch.

Like all hormonal men, I long to be a super hero. I certainly couldn’t be one at work though. The only place to change into my body-hugging, crotch-enhancing supersuit would be in the toilets, and the noxious fumes in there would knock me the fuck out!  With that in mind, here’s my attempt:

Don’t let the trident fool you, his special weapon is in the rear – his farts come straight from Satan’s bottom.

Create your own super hero at The Hero Factory. And drop us a line if you’ve made one you’re especially proud of.

Categories
Flash Games Mindlessness

Double-Shot Timewaster: Roly-Poly Cannon & Planet Cruncher

Who ordered the double-shot timewaster with the side order of win?

In Roly-Poly Cannon, you need to fire a load of balls at cute little roly poly men and make them fall to their death. Use the mouse to aim – move it further away from the cannon to increase the power. Left click to fire.

And in Planet Cruncher, your secret desire to exterminate worlds has been realised. You need collect a certain number of crystals on each level by smashing together planets of the same type. Use the mouse to draw lines around matching planets to crunch them, then collect the crystals that result.

Play Roly-Poly Cannon | Play Planet Cruncher.

Categories
Awesomeness Flash Games

Going Crazy With Schizophrenzy

I’ve half a mind to go to that meeting on schizophrenia tonight, but I’d rather spend the time playing Schizophrenzy. In this oddball platformer, you play John K. Facey, a P.I. with a big problem – you’re insane. That and the town mayor is trying to kill you. Oh and you need to find a floating baby wearing a bunny mask. During the game, you’ll experience paranoid hallucinations and delusions that can be kept in check by finding blue pills to keep you “sanity” level topped up.

Play Schizophrenzy at AdultSwim – via Gay Gamer.