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Cautionary Tales Lists Weirdness

Bedroom Quirks of 10 Great Authors

Back in the day, authors didn’t have distractions like the Internet, TV, and shopping malls. This left them with a great amount of time to write books hone their bedroom quirkiness. Here are a couple of great authors and their intimate quirks.

Lord Byron – The Nympho is in the House

Lord Byron (1788 – 1824) was more of a pimp daddy than Snoop Doggy Dogg. He kept lists of his lovers and apparently slept with more than 250 women in one year! STDs were obviously of no concern to to Mr “Mad, bad, and dangerous to know.” Byron slept with the ladies, their cousins, and supposedly his own half sister. As trophies, he used to snip a bit of hair (pubic, not scalp – duh!) from each of his conquests.

James Joyce – Farts and Spanking Gets the job Done

Despite having a long and somewhat embarrassing name, James Augustine Aloysius Joyce (1882 – 1941), wrote the landmark novel Ulysses (1922) and some extremely lewd letters to his lover, Nora Barnacle, expanding on the two things he specifically loved – being spanked, and women’s farts. In one letter to her, he sang the praises of her “arse full of farts.”

Oscar Wilde – Young Boys Inquire Within

As odd as his full name, Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde (1854 – 1900) swung both ways. Although this deviant was married to Constance Lloyd, with whom he had two children, Oscar had countless affairs with both sexes – and he preferred boys in the mid-to-late teens. How discerning, boning grown men was obviously not the right cup of tea. According to his old lover Lord Alfred Douglas, “He was hand in glove with all the little boys on the Boulevard. He never attempted to conceal it.”

Read more about the bedroom quirks of other authors at Mental Floss.

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Cautionary Tales Weirdness

Revenge of the babysat

Somebody smart once said never work with children or animals. This proved to be advice young Nathan Beavers of Jackson, Ohio really should have taken to heart.

Nathan was babysitting a bunch of kids in a trailer in Jackson when he clumsily trod on a four-year-old boy’s foot. This innocent bumbling act so enraged the injured toddler that he proceeded to grab a shotgun and blast it in Nathan’s general direction. Luckily for Nathan his wounds are reportedly pretty minor. The toddler has not been charged.

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Nice. Trailer + Toddler + Shotgun = Only in America.

Read more.

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Cautionary Tales Hints & Tips Weirdness

Light my fire

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Oh I love these kind of stories. As teenagers, my sister and I used to take great delight in combing magazines and newspapers (this was long before the interweb) for grotesque Agony Aunt columns and weird stories of sexual misadventure, revenge or jealousy that ended in disaster. You know the ones that go something like “woman bites off lover’s tongue in passionate embrace”, or “Dear Aunt Rhoda my girlfriend says she can’t love me anymore because I have genital warts”, that sort of thing. The whole Bobbitt episode kept us laughing for months. Well I’m not sure if I exactly love this particular story because someone actually dies, however it is morbidly fascinating nonetheless.

An Australian woman has been arrested and is going to be charged with murder after she doused her sleeping husband’s penis with something like metholated spirits and set it on fire. The unfortunate man allegedly woke up and knocked the bottle of meths over which helped the fire to spread rapidly from his privates to engulf the couple’s entire residence. As you may have guessed, Mr Crispy was cheating on his wife, and unluckily for him she found out and sought her fiery revenge. The fire starter has issued a statement saying that it was not her intention to kill her husband, all she wanted to do was claim his penis as hers only and forever by horribly disfiguring it!

This burning issue courtesy of the Daily Express.

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Cautionary Tales Video Clips

The Terrible Secret Behind the World’s Greatest Card Trick

If you believe in the goodness and purity of magic, do not watch this video.

via Cracked.com.

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Cartoons & Comics Cautionary Tales Mindlessness

White Ninja


White Ninja Comics is a comic about a ninja, who is white, and who has many adventures, and saves the world over, and over, and over again, and gets the ladies, and is searching for a way to return to reunite with his father on Mount Olympus.

White Ninja has over 800 comics to date. See them in the White Ninja Archives – via Cracked.com.

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Cautionary Tales Mindlessness Video Clips

Frog vs Fly

It’s not as clear cut as you would think. Click play or go to Youtube.

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Arty Cautionary Tales Video Clips Weirdness

Al Dente


Al Dente is an animated short movie produced by Supinfocom, France and is about a little peasant girl who discovers the magic and the dangers of an ogre’s kitchen.

Click Play or go to the official site – via Haha.nu.

Categories
Cautionary Tales Lists Mindlessness

Mug Shots Of The Year

The discerning writers (all three of them) at The Smoking Gun selected 20 booking photos selected from among the tens of thousands to bring you the 2008 Mug Shots of the Year.

Joker Busted

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July 28 – Spencer Taylor (20), from Michigan was arrested for allegedly trying to steal Batman posters and other collectibles from a theater showing “The Dark Knight.” The cops made him pose for booking photos in and out of character.

Police Seek Morin (not Moron)

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January 2 – Robert Morin (39) was being sought on a warrant for domestic assault. The above mug shot was taken on a previous arrest – Morin had become quite flexible after having removed his teeth.

Mug Shot Metamorphosis

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December 4 – Michael Campbell (33) from Colorado has been in and out of jail between 2003 and 2008 and seems to have spent his time getting inked. The first set of photos show Campbell following a 2003 theft arrest; the second set shows Campbell booked six weeks ago. That polka dot bow tie is quite handsome.

See more mug shots at The Smoking Gun – via Blame it on the Voices.

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Cautionary Tales Entertainment Lists Weirdness

Five Historical Figures Who Died The Weirdest Deaths

Cracked.com reports on the 5 individuals not content with just leaving their names in the footnotes of history.

Chrysippus: Death By Performing Donkey

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Chrysippus (280207 BC), renowned philosopher and party fiend, was boozing it up with his donkey (name still unkown) when the animal tried to eat some figs. The donkey’s attempt were so funny that Chrysippus laughed so hard, keeled over, and died.

President Félix Faure: Death by Bow-chicka-bow-wow

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On February 16, 1899 French president Félix Faure made a booty call in his own office with a gold-digger named Marguerite Steinheil. Story has it that Faure has fatal stroke right in the middle of orgasm. At least he died happy.

Aeschylus: Bludgeoned With a Turtle

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Sicilian eagles love turtles and have a cunning way of getting past the hard shells of their prey. The eagles lift turtles up to great heights, and then drop them on rocks to crack them open.

Aeschylus, widely regarded to be the founder of Greek tragedy, was loitering around one day when an eagle mistook his bald head for a rock, and proceed to drop it’s catch onto his head. Aeschylus died but the turtle survived.

Arius: Death by Expoding Bowel

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Arius one of the most prominent heretics of early Christianity, and someone obviously wan’t happy about him suggesting that there might have been a time when Christ hadn’t existed.

This is what one of this political opponents said:

“A faintness came over him, and together with the evacuations his bowels protruded, followed by a copious hemorrhage, and the descent of the smaller intestines: moreover portions of his spleen and liver were brought off in the effusion of blood, so that he almost immediately died.”

Herod the Great: Gangrene of the Genitalia

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Herod the Great, king of Judaea, was responsible for the Massacre of the Innocents. God tends to frown upon acts involving the senseless murder of babies and thus imbued unto Herod what is known today as Fournier gangrene – a horrendous necrotizing infection of the genitalia.

Read the full article at cracked.com.

Categories
Cautionary Tales Mindlessness

Vintage Graphics – Electroshock!

I love vintage graphics especially the one that show the painful electric shocks as a result of silly mistakes.

Little Johhny and the fried weiner.

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During the great food shortage of 2008, the rats thought it’d be a great idea to eat electricity wires.

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Showboating for the girlfriend rarely pays off if your head gets fried.

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Hit the jump to see more vintage graphics.