Congratulations to Amy and Grant on the arrival of two beautiful Spaniel pups. They are ridiculously cute guys! I are jealous.
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Habla Espanol?
Category: Awesomeness
In case you’ve been in hibernation, or a sex slave in the wilderness for the past couple of months, you’ll know that there’s a recession going on out there. And by out there I mean on your doorstep, in your wallet, and even in your bar fridge. I’m hating it – how about you? Anyway in both keeping up with current economic events (it’s a Bear Market apparently), and simultaneously taking your mind off them, I present a few pieces from Things Bears Love via Bored At Work (which I so am).
Bears love OVERWEIGHT HIKERS
Bears also love DRUNKS
And TEAM BUILDING EXERCISES
Get more laughs here.
With their minds firmly in their pants, “Jizz in my Pants” is The Lonely Island‘s first single from their debut album INCREDIBAD.
The music video has guest appearances by Molly Sims, Jamie Lynn Sigler, and Justin Timberlake; it’s has been viewed over 16 million times on YouTube! It’s one of the funniest songs I’ve heard in a long time. Check it out below.
I made this post…and I jizzed in my pants – thanks to PS3ZA user Nato for the tip.
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Amazing Aurora Borealis
James Pugsley’s site Astronomy North contains some amazing photos of the Aurora Borealis.
Yellowknife – Northwest Territories
This photo was taken in October of 2008 along the Ingraham Trail near Yellowknife using a Canon 5D, 400 ISO, Aper 2.8 for 13 seconds. The circular formation on the left indicates that a bombardment of particles is about to begin.
An Exceptionally Tall Curtain
An exceptionally tall curtain above an Ingraham Trail cabin. The tallest auroras are known to reach low-Earth orbit satellites 600km overhead. The bottom edge of this aurora is approximately 100 km above the surface.
A classic Yellowknife Performance
A classic Yellowknife performance, with all of the celestial characters. As the moon rises in the East, the magnetic field lights up over Yellowknife’s famous houseboats.
See more at Astronomy North – images | time-lapse photography videos – via Boing Boing.
Good Motoring, Vietnam! The Top Gear team is going global, with shooting locations taking place all over the world, and they’re starting with Vietnam. As if these people haven’t suffered enough under the Westerners, they must now prepare to receive Hamster, Captain Slow, and the bat-shit insane Jeremy Clarkson.
Click Play to watch the special, it’s in two parts.
Top Gear Vietnam Special – Part 1
Top Gear Vietnam Special – Part 2
The Vietnam show will be followed by trips to Hong Kong, Johannesburg, and Sydney. Incidentally, the waiting list to get a first-hand glimpse of the show being produced contains an incredible 336 000 names (which translates to about a 21-year wait!) so visiting these exotic locations may be the best chance to see the show in-person – via Haha.nu.
The Apple MacBook Wheel is a revolutionary new laptop that replaces the traditional keyboard with a single touch-sensitive click wheel. Typing will be a thing of the past – with the MacBook Wheel everything is only a few hundred clicks away. Included is the state-of-the-art Hummingbird battery which can power the computer for a full 19 minutes. So simple, and perfect. I love it.
Click play to view the full new reports.
Tilt-shift photography is a technique where you manipulate a camera so that a photo of a life-sized location or subject looks like a miniature-scale model. By shooting the locations from a high angle, it will create the illusion of looking down at a scale model. The example of Nice, France below by Flickr user therealjasonruff shows the technique off well.
There are a few ways for you to create tilt-shift photos:
The Traditional, Possibly Expensive Method
This method involves obtaining a decent camera, a tilt-shift lens, and reading up on the details HERE, HERE, and HERE. Not recommended for people with ADD or those feeling monetary problems.
The “Keeping it Real Fake” Method
This method involves using a graphics editor like Photoshop or GIMP to alter the focus of the photograph to simulate a shallow depth of field that would normally be encountered when using macro lenses. This will make the scene seem much smaller than it really is. By increasing the color saturation and contrast, you can simulate the bright paint often found on scale models.
To make your own tilt-shift photographs with Photoshop click HERE for a tutorial.
The Easy as Pie” Method
TiltShiftMaker is an online site that does all the hard work for you in 3 simple steps. Upload your standard photo (jpeg format, 4MB limit), select the focus size, and get the tilt-shift equivalent.
Use TiltShiftMaker HERE and check out the Flickr TiltShiftMaker pool HERE.
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Shoo Bru
As you may have noticed Dear Reader, I am a great fan of satire, sarcasm, irony and all things dark and dangerous. Anyway the fabulous Zahidah (maker of superb pies and samoosas) pointed me in the direction of a very lekker local site that is jam packed with lovely juicy satire and sarcasm. Here’s a tasty tit bit:
After 15 years ANC thinkers make incompetence breakthrough
PRETORIA. After fifteen years in power the ANC has for the first time threatened to sack non-performing ministers, saying that the groundbreaking concept to stop rewarding incompetence went against everything the new South Africa stood for but was necessary if the ruling party was going to carry out effective purges inside its organization.
Speaking to journalists this morning ANC spokesman Yesman Mxenge said that the new concept, called “accountability”, had sowed panic and confusion among ANC backbenchers.
“The problem is that it’s a very high-end concept,” said Mxenge. “I’m not sure I understand it myself.
“In a nutshell, it’s basically that if you don’t do the job you’re being paid half a million a year to do, you don’t get fired.
“Wait, no, you do get fired. That’s the part that keeps tripping us up.”
For more full flavour fun and delicious belly laughs visit Hayibo. Oh and their polls are awesome too!
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Superpoop
More from the crazy brilliant Toothpaste For Dinner man Drew. Check out Superpoop for your daily dose of sarcasm, satire and irony.
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The sh*t
When I grow up I want to be a blogger like David Thorne (you need to mouse around a bit to find the way into his site but I promise it’s worth it).
Tampons
My son’s birthday is next week. When he was seven, I told him to draw pictures of what he wanted for his birthday as a visual list, when I inquired as to one image (which I first took to be a box of coloured crayons), I deciphered his explanations as it being tampons. In particular, the multicoloured brand. His only references to the product were the adverts featuring a girl jumping out of a window onto a tree which lowered her into a bmw convertible full of friends, an electric green street racing car with black flames and the ability to do a single handed handstand star-jump on a dance machine to crowd applause. I bought him a box and figured he would work it out. Yesterday I asked him what he wants for his birthday and he replied ‘not tampons’.
Riddick
While watching the movie ‘Chronicles of Riddick’ together last night, my offspring stated that he wished Riddick was his dad. When I asked why, he replied that Riddick is good looking, has muscles and is a good fighter. I told him that I wished Matthew (his arch-enemy at school) was my son because he is better at maths and has cool hair.
Girls that have said no #4
A lady (aged 190) at the counter at Myers in front of me yelled ‘my purse’ then looked at me and proclaimed ‘You took my purse’ so I said ‘yes, I took your purse, I collect them.’ and she started yelling at me and the department manager came over and I had to explain that I was not admitting to the theft, I was being sarcastic. Her purse ended up in one of the many bags she was carrying but she continued to glare at me without so much as an apology. When the girl served me she apologised and I asked her ‘why, did you arrange someone to act like an old crazy woman for me’ and she laughed and said that I was funny so I asked her out and she said no.