Author: Lucy Furr

I heart onelargeprawn.

Categories
History Site Announcements

Birthday Girls & Boys – 11th January

Happy Birthday Heskey
Happy Birthday Heskey
Happy Birthday Heskey

Good Morning and HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to all wonderful Readers born on the 11th January.

Also born on the 11th of January are:
1503 – Parmigianino, Italian artist
1757 – Samuel Bentham, English mechanical engineer and designer of the first arched iron-built bridge over the Thames. He also designer many novel items such as an amphibious vessels for Russia’s infamous Tsarina Catherine the Great.
1895 – Laurens Hammond, American inventor of the Hammond organ
1901 – Kwon Ki-ok, was the first Korean female aviator, as well as being the first female pilot in China.
1903 – Alan Paton, South African liberal political activist and author of the acclaimed novel Cry the Beloved Country.
1921 – Gory Guerrero, professional wrestler and father of the more famous and now deceased Eddie.
1942 – Clarence Clemons, American musician best known as the saxophonist in Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band.
1971 – Mary J. Blige, American singer
1972 – Amanda Peet, American actress
1978 – Emile Heskey, English footballer
1981 – Jamelia, English singer

Thanks for the info Wikipedia.

Let me know if you’d like me to add a friend, family member or little ol’ you to our daily birthday lists of (famous) people. Mail me names, years of birth, and what makes you or them famous.

Categories
History Risqué Site Announcements

Birthday Girls & Boys – 10th January

anenomies

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to all born on the 10th of January. Hope that you have an amazing day filled with sunshine, and good times.

Also born on the 10th of January are:

1883 – Aleksei Nikolaevich Tolstoi, Russian writer
1893 – Albert Jacka, Australian soldier, first Australian World War I Victoria Cross winner
1936 – Al Goldstein, American publisher and pornographer
1944 – Rory Byrne, South African racing car designer
1944 – Frank Sinatra, Jr., American singer
1945 – Rod Stewart, Scottish singer
1949 – George Foreman, American boxer
1949 – Linda Lovelace, American pornographic actress
1964 – Brad Roberts, Canadian singer (Crash Test Dummies)
1974 – Jemaine Clement, half of awesome comedic duo from New Zealand – Flight of the Conchords

Thanks for the info Wikipedia.

Let me know if you’d like me to add a friend, family member or little ol’ you to our daily birthday lists of (famous) people. Mail me names, years of birth, and what makes you or them famous.

Categories
Cartoons & Comics History Site Announcements Useful/Useless Info

Birthday Girls & Boys – 9th January

live-strong

More cool cartoons at Toothpaste For Dinner.

If today is your birthday, we at onelargeprawn wish you a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY. And it’s on a Friday – you lucky so-and-so – hope you got cool pressies and cake and beer and tequila and lots of other good stuff (and not a Lance Armstrong cancer bracelet).

Also born on this day were:

1908 – Simone de Beauvoir, French author
1913 – Richard Nixon, 37th President of the United States
1929 – Dorothea Puente, American serial killer
1933 – Wilbur Smith, Zambian-British novelist
1941 – Joan Baez, American singer and activist
1944 – Jimmy Page, British musician and producer (Led Zeppelin)
1967 – Dave Matthews, South African singer and musician
1975 – Kimberley Ann Scott Mathers, former wife of Eminem
1982 – Kate Middleton, girlfriend of Prince William of Wales

Thanks for the info Wikipedia.

Let me know if you’d like me to add a friend, family member or little ol’ you to our daily birthday lists of (famous) people.

Mail me names, years of birth, and what makes you or them famous.

Categories
Awesomeness Politics Smolitics

Shoo Bru

RSA iflagi

As you may have noticed Dear Reader, I am a great fan of satire, sarcasm, irony and all things dark and dangerous. Anyway the fabulous Zahidah (maker of superb pies and samoosas) pointed me in the direction of a very lekker local site that is jam packed with lovely juicy satire and sarcasm. Here’s a tasty tit bit:

After 15 years ANC thinkers make incompetence breakthrough
PRETORIA. After fifteen years in power the ANC has for the first time threatened to sack non-performing ministers, saying that the groundbreaking concept to stop rewarding incompetence went against everything the new South Africa stood for but was necessary if the ruling party was going to carry out effective purges inside its organization.

Speaking to journalists this morning ANC spokesman Yesman Mxenge said that the new concept, called “accountability”, had sowed panic and confusion among ANC backbenchers.

“The problem is that it’s a very high-end concept,” said Mxenge. “I’m not sure I understand it myself.

“In a nutshell, it’s basically that if you don’t do the job you’re being paid half a million a year to do, you don’t get fired.

“Wait, no, you do get fired. That’s the part that keeps tripping us up.”

For more full flavour fun and delicious belly laughs visit Hayibo. Oh and their polls are awesome too!

Categories
Awesomeness Cartoons & Comics Weirdness

Superpoop

More from the crazy brilliant Toothpaste For Dinner man Drew. Check out Superpoop for your daily dose of sarcasm, satire and irony.

now-people-will-know1

Categories
Awesomeness

The sh*t

spiderdrawingWhen I grow up I want to be a blogger like David Thorne (you need to mouse around a bit to find the way into his site but I promise it’s worth it).

Tampons
My son’s birthday is next week. When he was seven, I told him to draw pictures of what he wanted for his birthday as a visual list, when I inquired as to one image (which I first took to be a box of coloured crayons), I deciphered his explanations as it being tampons. In particular, the multicoloured brand. His only references to the product were the adverts featuring a girl jumping out of a window onto a tree which lowered her into a bmw convertible full of friends, an electric green street racing car with black flames and the ability to do a single handed handstand star-jump on a dance machine to crowd applause. I bought him a box and figured he would work it out. Yesterday I asked him what he wants for his birthday and he replied ‘not tampons’.

Riddick
While watching the movie ‘Chronicles of Riddick’ together last night, my offspring stated that he wished Riddick was his dad. When I asked why, he replied that Riddick is good looking, has muscles and is a good fighter. I told him that I wished Matthew (his arch-enemy at school) was my son because he is better at maths and has cool hair.

Girls that have said no #4
A lady (aged 190) at the counter at Myers in front of me yelled ‘my purse’ then looked at me and proclaimed ‘You took my purse’ so I said ‘yes, I took your purse, I collect them.’ and she started yelling at me and the department manager came over and I had to explain that I was not admitting to the theft, I was being sarcastic. Her purse ended up in one of the many bags she was carrying but she continued to glare at me without so much as an apology. When the girl served me she apologised and I asked her ‘why, did you arrange someone to act like an old crazy woman for me’ and she laughed and said that I was funny so I asked her out and she said no.

Categories
Awesomeness Cartoons & Comics

Exit interview

exit-interview

I’ve just been retrenched, and this is exactly what I feel like saying to these *@&£ers when I leave.

More absolutely brilliant cartoons at Toothpaste For Dinner.

Categories
Cautionary Tales Weirdness

Revenge of the babysat

Somebody smart once said never work with children or animals. This proved to be advice young Nathan Beavers of Jackson, Ohio really should have taken to heart.

Nathan was babysitting a bunch of kids in a trailer in Jackson when he clumsily trod on a four-year-old boy’s foot. This innocent bumbling act so enraged the injured toddler that he proceeded to grab a shotgun and blast it in Nathan’s general direction. Luckily for Nathan his wounds are reportedly pretty minor. The toddler has not been charged.

trailer1

Nice. Trailer + Toddler + Shotgun = Only in America.

Read more.

Categories
Cautionary Tales Hints & Tips Weirdness

Light my fire

fire

Oh I love these kind of stories. As teenagers, my sister and I used to take great delight in combing magazines and newspapers (this was long before the interweb) for grotesque Agony Aunt columns and weird stories of sexual misadventure, revenge or jealousy that ended in disaster. You know the ones that go something like “woman bites off lover’s tongue in passionate embrace”, or “Dear Aunt Rhoda my girlfriend says she can’t love me anymore because I have genital warts”, that sort of thing. The whole Bobbitt episode kept us laughing for months. Well I’m not sure if I exactly love this particular story because someone actually dies, however it is morbidly fascinating nonetheless.

An Australian woman has been arrested and is going to be charged with murder after she doused her sleeping husband’s penis with something like metholated spirits and set it on fire. The unfortunate man allegedly woke up and knocked the bottle of meths over which helped the fire to spread rapidly from his privates to engulf the couple’s entire residence. As you may have guessed, Mr Crispy was cheating on his wife, and unluckily for him she found out and sought her fiery revenge. The fire starter has issued a statement saying that it was not her intention to kill her husband, all she wanted to do was claim his penis as hers only and forever by horribly disfiguring it!

This burning issue courtesy of the Daily Express.

Categories
Hints & Tips Science & Technology

Stressed and traumatised?

Experiencing post traumatic stress? Get yourself in front of a computer and indulge in the universally played and consistently mind numbing game Tetris.

tetris2

Researchers in the UK are suggesting that playing Tetris may help in the treatment of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Dr Emily Holmes of Oxford University says that she “wanted to find a way to dampen down flashbacks – the raw sensory images of trauma that are over-represented in the memories of those with PTSD”. According to Dr Holmes, playing Tetris effectively prevents flashbacks and thus helps heal posttraumatic stress – other scientists are unconvinced. More on this from the  BBC.