Invincibility, invisibility, super strength, laser shooting eyes, adamantium skeletons… all so passé, so ordinary, why would I want one of these? I tend to think outside of the box, outside of Stan Lee’s imaginings, which is why when I think of having a super power I leave the usual suspects out of it. One day with the help of science, radiation, the sun’s rays, a meteor shower or the bite of a genetically manipulated bug I hope to have one of these unordinary superpowers. Find out what they are after the jump.
1. The power to make someone either poo themselves or have an orgasm involuntarily.
Just imagine the possibilities, you could accuse someone of being full of shit and then prove it, it would be a superpower in politics and debate. And of course you would be a hit with the ladies.
2. Save game function for life
Want to try a few pick-up lines? No problem. Retry the day with less suck? Win the lottery? Say exactly the right thing at the right time. Thought of the perfect comeback… come back to it. The applications are indeed endless. Groundhog day but all the time, awesome.
3. Music soundtrack to my life.
Besides removing the need for any technological gadgetry like an ipod, having a soundtrack would be useful. Imagine something scary is about to happen, a car is about to mount the pavement you are standing on. Never fear, your soundtrack would have warned you by now. Getting in the mood for some love, cue Barry White. Besides being useful, it would be totally awesome, Macross could have ‘Footloose’ playing on repeat.
4. An aura of hairspray removal.
Ever noticed how you can’t avoid douche bags. No matter where you are, who you are with or what you are doing. You may be in the middle of the Kalahari desert camping with friends and suddenly in a haze of dust a 4×4 will appear pulling two quad bikes and out will step two douches with popped collars and shitty music blaring… But with anti-hairspray aura if they came within a set distance of you, their hair would fall into disarray and their day would most certainly be ruined.
5. The ability to make my bag or pockets, bags of holding.
There’s never enough space to carry your stuff around. If life was an rpg there would be bags of holding to help you carry around all your loot right… Well that’s what I want. Of course it needs to be like Rincewinds luggage, bottomless and weightless.
Bonus: Common Sense
8 replies on “5 Unordinary Superpowers I Wish I Had”
It’s just a matter of time…
I’m sure that with the inevitable march of science and technology, we will be able to achieve all of these unordinary superpowers.
Well, maybe not that last one…
Thank you GoDsGiMp, I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks the ability to cause poo-nage is awesome :poop: :yes:
I want that picture of all the heroes.
Here you go – http://www.fabuloussavers.com/new_wallpaper/Super_Heroes_freecomputerdesktopwallpaper_1600.shtml
Thanks buddy
I’d like the ability to give the super power of common sense to some people, coz God knows they need it!
Oh I’m diggin’ on the power to make enemies involuntarliy shit themselves – would be nice to remind some high-and-mighty douches of their humanity. Also I would like the power of being able to put my hand in my pocket and bring out the exact amount of money I needed to pay for the things I was buying at the time. Aero bar for R5.99 no problem it’s right here in my pocket. 2 litres of organic milk and a packet of chocolate digestives R32.95 blamo! 2 first class tickets to Rio R30 000…give me just a minute…there you go. :devil:
Oooooh! That would be awesome.. truly truly awesome.