Be it to work, the shops, or the strip club, a pleasant drive can be ruined by an inconsiderate asshat who decides to bully you off the road.
At the end of his tether, disgruntled driver and candidate for Mr Misanthrope 2009, Fayyaad decided to do something that only a man of his stature could do – he killed someone wrote a song.
As a preface, I’d suggest a listen to I’ve Got A Little List below so you know how Fayyaad’s song goes.
And now, the Ode To Motorists.
As it often seems to happen that others have me woe’d
I’ve got a little list, I’ve got a little list
Of the trafficky offenders who’d be better off the road
I’ve got a little list, I’ve got a little listThere are those who always have their windows
Tinted far too black
Rich twits who misuse GTIs
And those with trailers at the back
And the fools that go too slowly
And then fools that drive too fast
And idiots who drive cars as if this day were their last
And morons who at last minute will cut you off insist
They’d none of them be missed!
They’d none of them be missed!I’ve got them on a list! I’ve got them on a list!
And they’d none of them be missed!
They’d none of them be missed!There’s the beggars who play music from their speakers far too loud
I’ve got a little list, I’ve got a little list!
Their music going “doof doof doof” and deafening the crowd
They’d none of them be missed!
They’d none of them be missed!There’s taxi drivers, scooter riders, cyclists of all kinds
Bus drivers who don’t know just how to move their big behinds
All those who chat on cellphones while they’re weaving round the bend
And pedestrians crossing highways: may they seek a faster end
And idiots driving recklessly through any fog or mist
They’d none of them be missed!
They’d none of them be missed!I’ve put them on a list! I’ve put them on a list!
And they’d none of them be missed!
They’d none of them be missed!Impatient fools who don’t know how join the “back of queue”
I’ve got a little list! I’ve got a little list!
And those who indicate too late should really learn their cue
They’d none of them be missed!
They’d none of them be missed!
There’s Porsches, BMWs, and of course Mercedes-Benz
Toyotas, Hondas, Volkswagens, and Jaguars by their tens
Suzukis, Vauxhalls, Opels, Mustangs, Corvettes, Chevrolets
Ferraris, Maseratis, Fords, Subarus, and Hyundais
But anyway I think by now you must have got the gist
They’d none of them be missed!
They’d none of them be missed!I’ve put them on a list! I’ve put them on a list!
And they’d none of them be missed!
They’d none of them be missed!
Right on the mark don’t you think? I’d be sure to sing this to myself the next time I bludgeon a dick driver to death.
[via Utter Insanity]