Dear Bicycle Thief

We’ve had two cars stolen from outside our house – it was a traumatic, rage-inducing experience on both occasions, with swear words aplenty and wishes that the robbers suffer through a back-street vasectomy performed by a blind epileptic with AIDS.

Other people, however, take a more calm approach when robbed. This person, for example, wrote a sympathetic note to the robber saying:

Dear bike thief, I am very sorry that circumstances in your life led you to need to steal my bike. I hope that it helped you to get your life back on track. Good luck. Love, a friend.

To which the robber replied:

Thanks, chap! Don’t worry – doing fine, the bike is terrific, hello from me mates,

Later, bicycle thief.

Now that’s just mean. My note to a bicycle thief might just be something like the letter Barbara wrote after a douchebag stole her Schwinn. How would your note be worded? Let us know.

[via Buzzfeed]