Uncomfortable Plot Summaries

Reading lengthy reviews of your favourite movies and TV shows can be tedious (especially if there are no pictures). Don’t you wish that their plot lines could be condensed into a single sentence? That is the premise behind the game called “Uncomfortable Plot Summaries” which yields some humourous (often cynical) results. Here are some of my favourites:

• ALIENS: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
• BATMAN: Wealthy man assaults the mentally ill.
• DIE HARD: Dysfunctional cop saves marriage by murdering foreign national.
• KILL BILL: Irresponsible mother wants custody of her child.
• BLADE RUNNER: Man with no apparent skill stumbles into escaped robots, fails to kill most, fucks one.
• LORD OF THE RINGS: Midget destroys stolen property.
• ROCKY: White man beats black man.
• SUPERBAD: Boys plan date-rape, sleep together.
• TRANSPORTER: Repressed homosexual kills employers.
• TERMINATOR: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
• SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE: Man is betrayed by darker-skinned brother, escapes poverty through blind luck in pursuit of light-skinned woman.
• TRANSFORMERS: Army lures enormous, hostile aliens into urban area, needlessly killing thousands.
• CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND: Husband abandons family responsibilities to trespass on military outpost for noisy light show.
• MEMENTO: Brain damaged people are easy to fuck with, but will eventually kill you.
• SHOWGIRLS: Women empower themselves through public nudity.
• LOST: Nothing makes sense.
• HEROES: With great power comes ridiculous problems.
• WIZARD OF OZ: What happens over the rainbow, stays over the rainbow.

See many more at (postmodernbarney.com) [via Metafilter]